Mr. Konrad von Gochstaden was a son of the canon of the cathedral in Cologne. Unfortunately, almost nothing is known about his childhood. We don’t even imagine in which year this guy was born, in 1198 or 1205. However, already in 1216 he was appointed a canon, and 10 years later the rector of the cathedral in Cologne. during the years of his ministry, he gained the fame of an uncompromising and severe fellow. In 1238 the archbishop of Cologne died, and the clergy of the cathedral elected Konrad. He immediately rolled up his sleeves and decided to take all this stuff into his own hands, which forced him to enter into a series of skirmishes with neighboring secular rulers and aristocracy, who tried the cleric to prevent reigning alone in Cologne. In the end, he succeeded, the craftsmen raised their heads, but the practically independent city moved under the authority of the church.
In 1239, another round of confrontation between secular power and Rome started. Initially, the bishop took Frederick’s position, but then, for unclear reasons, he moved to the camp of the Gregory IX. After the death of the former opponent of the pope, Frederick II, Mr. Gochstaden managed to appoint the Roman protege, Henry Raspe, on the position of the ruler of the Germans. And when the latter died six months later, the cleric placed on the this throne another Pope Gregory IX’s ruler – William of Holland. Among these clashes, archbishop was able to build something new. In 1248, von Gochstaden laid the new Cologne Cathedral, the construction of which lasted for several hundred years. This really impressive cathedral is one of the biggest in Europe, and the German government have today to spend a lot of money every year to maintain the cathedral. 15 years later by order of Mr. Gochstaden the cathedral in the neighboring city of Xanten also was laid.
Soon the archbishop and the pope had a tiff. After the death of Archbishop of Mainz, the public demanded Konrad, who gained a serious weight, to be placed on this position, but the pope decided that he would not reside in two important German provinces simultaneously, and even deprived him the title of papal legate in Germany. Soon the friendship between the archbishop and ruler Wilhelm also deteriorated. The bishop did not give up, and awaited Wilhelm’s death and in the election of the next German ruler, he sold his vote for a considerable sum of money to Richard Cornwallis, the brother of the king of England Henry III. As a result, Richard became Emperor, and a couple of months later the bishop solemnly crowned him in Aachen.
In 1261 the archbishop died, and grateful citizens decorated the town hall with a sculpture of him. The sculpture of Konrad stands on a balloon depicting auto-fellatio. Auto-fellatio is an act when a fellow dandle his own penis with his mouth. Why? Nobody knows.